@peterjames48: You're leaving Twitter? For good? That's too bad. We'll miss you. See you next week!
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@SuperJuanderer: [cats on a date in a fancy restaurant] Male: I can't decide if I want tuna or the salmon. Female: *Slowly pushes pepper shaker off table
@Sirrruh: So he says, "Argh! Give me yer booties!" & he steals all the baby booties. ... There's an audience for Baby Blackbeard & I'LL FIND IT.
@Itskarleytime: Statistically humans have sex 104 times a year. This is about to be a very wild 12 days.